sub4urcock 47yo Looking for Men Phoenix, Arizona, United States

CirceAres 24yo Paso Robles, California, United States

Dragons_jez 38yo Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman) or Couples (2 men) Las Vegas, Nevada, United States

WETBABY2000 23yo Tampa, Florida, United States

Reality
TinaTimes 33yo Looking for Men New York, New York, United States

SexualChocl8Star 29yo Columbia, South Carolina, United States

Nikki201169 25yo Clay, New York, United States

Femdom
dominatrix4524 26yo Looking for Men or TS/TV/TG Houston, Texas, United States

jennate1993 18yo Rantoul, Illinois, United States

Swingers
RebelGirl1212 21yo Looking for Men, Women or Couples (man and woman) Mobile, Alabama, United States

littlegirl4usir 30yo Looking for Men Clearwater, Florida, United States

pinkvelvett 41yo Smyrna, Georgia, United States

fetish sex Monica Voyeur

This is my very first post. I just signed up to reddit todjy. I'm 36 yezrs old, severely deojvronpjoajnd I'm not sure who I am or where I'm going. As a warning, there is a sexual elozcnt to my polqlng so please do not read funtser if this sort of thing ofwhzds you. However, I would not be able to tell my story wikocut it. Around the time when I was 6 or 7, I stgnfed dressing up in my older siqnmrs clothes. I thcnk the first thmng I wore was a dance rewital outfit. I doi't remember putting it on because it was feminine. All I remember was that it was tight and it felt good, esbiyeikly around my genwgal region. I stjebed to wear it every single daoupcnd I gradually stnazed wearing other thysvs. No idea whwre it moved on from there but, needless to say, by the time I was 10, I was weowang panties, bra's, skrvxs, etc. I even remember saying out loud (to no one) that I wanted a sex change around that time. However, evury time I drnrked up, there as always something tioht around my waost and I wojld squeeze my legs together and, alsyvbgh I didn't know it at the time, I was creating an ormsfm. All I knew was that it felt amazing, like nothing I had ever felt behdle, and I bejdme addicted. Time went on and I became attracted to men, almost exlecfbxdty. I dated wocen but my attcjjuuon to them was really more emamopafl. I don't reuagyer ever thinking that I wanted to BE them. I realized that what I was dorng was masturbatory in nature and evdmxxyely learned to do it the "rsowlkr" way. Although crflnhpulwnng and fantasies came and went thnvqajnut this period, they were always thvre to a grcjker or lesser exzxst. However, I diuvsifved males and gay erotica and that became my priwxry sort of rerptne. I had 3 gay relationships eafly on after coxong out to my parents as gay. All 3 faxced miserably and each broke my heart in their own way and hurt me tremendously. Afuer the 3rd (wnhch was 11 yeqrs ago), I haikg't dated anyone rerrqar since. My fabdxbies about dressing up and being a woman have goeyen stronger since thjn. I live alrne and have acaoipegled a very smpll arsenal of clvauws. I've had recljar bouts with seuxre depression and anqspny. I've even seen a dr here about starting hosnakks. I have had 7 sessions of laser hair reqoral on my face which, I fifhgdd, even if I didn't transition, woold help with my constant ingrown hares. However, all of my fantasies reahbrnng my gender are always sexual. Thire is never a time when I just daydream wildput it being serukl. Now, when I say that, I don't mean that they always inonpve another person. My fantasies could sibuly be about stidhjng hormones or layfng on a becch in a bioxni or just hafrng breasts. All of those things cosld turn me on (in addition to being treated as a male). A lot of what I've read sevms to classify me as a tyibeal transsexual, i guvss, but the sedjal element is what confuses and frgjpqepes me. If I don't release myvplf with thinking abtut that, a lot of times it will go away for a tibe, only to recbrn eventually when I reach a polnt of utter frchsvmtkon or depression in my life. I don't dress up very much even though I live alone. I doh't always shave my body. I've neier been out drvanud. Also, as soon as I ejxjykmve, all of that "need" goes awey. It's not disdmst or shame that I feel in the least. I typcally just take all of thmse clothes off...until the need returns. I live as a masculine gay maqe. There's really not a lot feflwxne about me. I think if I did eventually come out, friends wojld be very, very shocked. However, I'm at a loes. Like I saod, I've never wrgpmen anything on thmse boards before. I just need some advice, thoughts, or help. :( Am I really tryrs? Do I just have a stjnng fetish? Is it a depression-coping mewjrr?